2 Billy Crystal Movies Accidentally Released At Same Time

December 29, 2012

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Two films that star Billy Crystal are now currently in theaters. The film industry meant to do this with Brad Pitt but made a mistake.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Alter-Earth Mayan Doom Family Makes Christmas Awkward

December 26, 2012

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The holidays are all about being with your family. Sometimes, this includes your alternate reality counterparts. The Mann family of Amherst, Texas received unexpected guests for the holidays: their alter-Earth versions from a timeline where the planet was destroyed during a Mayan apocalypse. “It was really interesting to see how the other half lived…when the […]

Posted in: Disasters

Gun Control Becomes $2 Billion Industry

December 15, 2012

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The movement to ban assault weapons and regulate other guns more stringently has become a $2 billion industry. Sales of stickers, T-shirts, and other merchandise protesting guns have grown to rival the actual gun industry this year, with several gun control companies making the coveted Fortune 500 list. “Their increased market value demands that we […]

Posted in: Disasters

No More Concerts For Sandy Victims

December 14, 2012

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After the Robin Hood Foundation raised more than $30 million with a benefit concert on Dec. 12, it was announced that there will be no more fundraising shows for the victims of Super Storm Sandy. “Each of us could have thrown our own concerts, and made $30 million each,” Bruce Springsteen said. “But, I’m sure […]

Posted in: Disasters

Hurricane Survivors Return To Wasting Time

November 8, 2012

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As power returns to New Jersey in the wake of Hurricane Sandy and Nor’Easter Athena, New Jersey and New York residents return to their old habits: YouTube, PS3, and a backlog of SongPop requests. Mark Halstrom was fortunate enough to have power returned to his Howell, NJ neighborhood yesterday, following 13 days without electricity. After […]

Posted in: Uncategorized

New Jersey Rocked By Volcano

November 7, 2012

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In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, a Nor’easter, and a small earthquake, New Jersey residents were also hit with a volcano early yesterday morning. The volcano was caused when a mountain suddenly rose up in the middle of Cape May, topping buildings as it grew. When it reached its final height of 2,000 feet, the […]

Posted in: Uncategorized

Ohioans already sick of Biden

November 7, 2012

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After Ohio played such a pivotal role in yet another election, Vice President Joseph Biden said he plans on spending every day there. “Ohio is the greatest state,” the former Delaware senator said. Biden wanders through town after town, meeting voters and prepping for a 2016 presidential bid. It’s estimated that he has already met […]

Posted in: Politics
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