Alter-Earth Mayan Doom Family Makes Christmas Awkward

Posted on December 26, 2012


The holidays are all about being with your family. Sometimes, this includes your alternate reality counterparts.

The Mann family of Amherst, Texas received unexpected guests for the holidays: their alter-Earth versions from a timeline where the planet was destroyed during a Mayan apocalypse.

“It was really interesting to see how the other half lived…when the other half is us,” said Howard Mann.

This world’s Howard Mann is a software tester. His alter-Earth counterpart is a quantum engineer who designed the escape pod he used to jettison his family into this dimension.

“It’s interesting to hear his version of things…but if I have to hear him refer to it as the “Fall of Mann” one more time, I’m finding some way to send him back,” Howard said.

The Manns called newspaper and television crews to document the first ever inter-dimensional holiday gathering.

When Howard’s father came for Christmas dinner, Alter-Howard grabbed him and held him tight, sobbing “I should have built the pod bigger! I should have built the pod bigger!”

“Our house looks nice,” Alter-Debbie Mann said. “I mean, your house looks nice…that’s just the way we had decorated the house…before the lava wave came by…”

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” our-Earth Debbie said, “but I thought you said there was another ice age?”

“Yes, an ice age and a lava flood at the same time.”

The Mann family of Earth Prime, which is what they’ve started to refer to our world as, had to buy extra presents at the last minute for their extended family.

“I wanted a 3DS,” 11-year-old Chase Mann whined.

“We went over this, Chase,” his father Howard replied. “You already have a DS. You don’t need a 3DS.”

Chase’s Alter-Dad held him tightly and said “At least you still have Chase. I’d have given him anything. We lost our Chase when the meteors split the earth, and the dinosaurs came out.”

“Aren’t dinosaurs extinct on Alter-Earth?” Chase asked.

“Yes,” his Alter-Dad said. “These were zombie dinosaurs.”



In other news, the 2012 Mayan Doomsday Prediction Is Wrong:

Posted in: Disasters