Obama Updates His Resume

January 20, 2017

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – After leaving the White House, former President Barack Obama started on his next challenge: landing a new job. But like everyone in this difficult economy, what jobs are available for an executive who was unliked by about half of the people he supervised? “Should I put on my resume that I was […]

Posted in: Uncategorized, Politics

Melania Blinks “Help Me” During Inauguration

January 20, 2017

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As First Lady Melania Trump stood by President Donald Trump throughout the inauguration, Morse Code experts noticed a peculiar rhythm to her blinking. “She was definitely communicating via Morse Code,” U.S. Army Communications officer John Caring said. “She was blinking ‘help me’ over and over again.” One White House employee was reported to have heard […]

Canceled Show Planning Spinoff in 20 Years

January 7, 2017

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The creators of Girl Meets World, which was cancelled earlier this week, have already begun working on the spinoff, which will debut in 2035.   Girl Meets World (2014-2017) features the coming-of-age story of Riley Matthews, daughter of Cory Matthews, star of Boy Meets World (1993-2000). The sequel, Kids Meet World (2035-2036), will feature the […]

Sales Low for “Beats by Chris Brown”

January 1, 2017

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2 Billy Crystal Movies Accidentally Released At Same Time

December 29, 2012

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Two films that star Billy Crystal are now currently in theaters. The film industry meant to do this with Brad Pitt but made a mistake.

Posted in: Uncategorized

Alter-Earth Mayan Doom Family Makes Christmas Awkward

December 26, 2012

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The holidays are all about being with your family. Sometimes, this includes your alternate reality counterparts. The Mann family of Amherst, Texas received unexpected guests for the holidays: their alter-Earth versions from a timeline where the planet was destroyed during a Mayan apocalypse. “It was really interesting to see how the other half lived…when the […]

Posted in: Disasters

Gun Control Becomes $2 Billion Industry

December 15, 2012

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The movement to ban assault weapons and regulate other guns more stringently has become a $2 billion industry. Sales of stickers, T-shirts, and other merchandise protesting guns have grown to rival the actual gun industry this year, with several gun control companies making the coveted Fortune 500 list. “Their increased market value demands that we […]

Posted in: Disasters